Dodie’s Music Video ‘Hate Myself’ Relays Mental Health Struggles

25-year-old singer-songwriter dodie released the song and music video for “Hate Myself” on January 12.

This song is the third release for dodie’s upcoming album Build A Problem which will be released in March. The other two songs that have been released from the album are “Cool Girl” and “Rainbow.”

“Hate Myself” was initially released by dodie on BBC | Annie Mac Hottest Record in the World. 

The director Sammy Paul planned with dodie what the video would be about and the singer said that they, “excitedly landed on the silly idea of the training leading up to becoming a post-lady, and thoroughly enjoyed planning the many bizarre exercises she would have to perfect.”

The majority of the video was filmed in the small town of Polperro, Cornwall. They were up early in the morning with a small crew wearing masks to maintain COVID-19 safety restrictions. One scene from the video shows dodie on a boat which was filmed in London. 

okay but will dodie wear the postie hat on tour while performing ‘hate myself’ because that would be iconic

— emma • hates herself (@dodieishuman) January 16, 2021

The singer reflected on this experience stating, “Though jogging on cliff tops in the rain, carrying a large sack and slipping in the mud was certainly cold and exhausting, I think I preferred it to slowly feeling sicker, licking stamps on a swaying boat by the Excel.”

She recorded the audio of the laughing, stomping, and backup vocals with her friends before the lockdown began. 

As for the meaning of the song itself, dodie said in her pre-release livestream that it is about, “a feeling that I have to deal with when someone else in my life—be it a partner or a friend— goes quiet, thinks introspectively, deals with their problems internally, I freak out because I’m like, ‘I’m the problem. What have I done to make you feel upset?’ And that’s probably coming from past trauma.”

‘hate myself’ crazily speaks for me and that’s scary. but i love the song so much and i love dodie and im thankful her music exists

— ☁️🚪 (@smileflowerwonu) January 18, 2021

When dodie asked her fans what they thought the line, “when you go quiet, I hate myself” meant, a fan named Samantha said it meant “finding anxiety in someone’s silence.” dodie responded with a proud, “Yes, Samantha! Nailed it.”

Build A Problem will be released in March and can be pre-saved on Spotify and Apple Music now.