Charli xcx Expresses Vulnerability in New ‘Party 4 U’ Music Video

Charli xcx celebrates the fifth anniversary of her album, how i’m feeling right now, with the release of her “party 4 u” music video.

This past year, Charli xcx’s Grammy Award-winning album brat has become its own cultural moment. Even with the claim that “brat summer” is over, it still lives on with xcx back on “brat tour” in select cities worldwide. However, since brat, newer fans have discovered the rest of the “365”-party-girl’s discography with a different song constantly circulating on TikTok.

One of these trending songs to regain attention has been “party 4 u.” The song, released as part of her 2020 album how i’m feeling right now, has been all over the internet this year, with people sharing their takes on the feelings the song evokes in them.

The singer’s how i’m feeling right now had one of the most unique creation processes, created in the first month of the COVID-19 lockdown on Instagram and Zoom as a collaborative effort with fans. While everyone was isolating, she connected with fans, asking for their input on Instagram Live, creating the album together.

“So much has changed since then: me, my life, elements of my music and most definitely the world. I made this album in just five weeks, from conception to release, entirely publicly in collaboration with all of you. […] I felt like I rediscovered myself, my sanity, and my sense of connection with the world, at a time where we were all so alone,” she wrote in a handwritten letter posted to Instagram honoring the fifth anniversary.

She continued, “It was all of us at our most raw, our most stripped, our most vulnerable. I will never forget it, and I really can’t believe that five years later one of the angel favorites is having its own special moment. So obviously I wanted to do something to celebrate…this one’s for your angels.”

The “party 4 u” music video, released today, featured the isolated artist. She steps outside her house, filled with party decorations and the mess of the party’s aftermath. The video intercuts between xcx partying by herself to stripping herself from her heels, to dumping the contents of her purse.

“All I’m thinking, all I know is / That I hope you knock on my door / Nervous energy / My heart rate rises higher, higher up / I wish you’d get here, kiss my face / Instead you’re somewhere far away,” she sings as she destroys a billboard with her face ripping it in rage and defacing it in black paint before lighting it on fire.

She embodies the song’s themes of regret, yearning, and “what ifs” in the new music video half a decade later, in a time more relevant than ever.

After the music video’s release, the Grammy Award-winning singer also surprised fans with a special fifth anniversary edition vinyl of how i’m feeling right now available now for pre-order here.

Watch Charli xcx’s highly anticipated “party 4 u” music video below. Warning for flashing lights.